Welcome to The Rhythm of Grief!
This is a place where you can find comfort, advice, and thoughts on grief and how to cope with it. No matter what type of grief we experience, it can hit us hard and leave us emotionally paralyzed. You can find solace here.
The Rhythm of Grief has now re-launched after a long break!
This site should serve as a reminder of the knowledge that death brings, including the importance of living our truths and following our own path in life. And it should serve as a remembrance of a gift of love, and that you are not alone in your grief.
Some time ago, we as a whole supported a grief culture.
When friends wore black outfits or armbands, we understood they were mourning, and supported them accordingly. We gave those who were mourning hope by reaching out to them, recognizing their grief, and understanding their pain.
These days, the traditions that helped us through grief are slipping away.
Many people deal with grief all on their own, without help from family and friends. Well-meaning friends and neighbors drift away after the first few weeks, unsure how to help, while the mourner retreats further and further into his or her shell, overwhelmed by all the new changes, with no clear path to follow.
We need to change our perception of grief.
It’s time to acknowledge that grief is a very real and important process—one that forever after changes us, as well as the larger community. But how can we do that? First, we can acknowledge ourselves in our grief, as well as others in their grief. Secondly, we need to get support when we need it for our grieving. FInally, we can bring back symbols such as mourning bands that express our grief to honor those who have died.
When we’re supporting ourselves and everyone else in their grief, we begin to remember the true meaning of life: who we are, why we’re here and where we’re going. And we remember the extraordinary power of love.
Grief is unpredictable and difficult to understand for everyone, especially the person who is grieving.
There are 5 stages of grief set by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, but these stages don’t always follow a given particular pattern. Instead, grief is unpredictable, and hits you when you least expect it. For this reason, grief often knocks you over and sends you to your knees. However, throughout the process, grieving can indeed provide you with gifts of love and understanding.
Whether or not we like to admit it, grief is a natural progression that changes over time. When a loved one passes, we feel differently a week later than we do years later. Just after someone’s death, we may feel as if we are at peace with things. Then, weeks or months ahead, we might feel a sudden mix of fear and grief, as if the passing just occurred. Initially, you may feel shock. Later on, you might be angry and fearful of death.
Why does this happen? How do you lose the lessons learned about living a life with an open heart? Despite everything mainstream religion teaches us, guilt isn’t supposed to guide us—love is. Hospice and healthcare workers already know these truths, because they learned that death is but another part of life, and perhaps life’s best teacher. The rest of us often forget. Instead of living in the present and enjoying the many gifts before us, we find ourselves worrying about the future, or obsessing about the past.
After someone’s death, we tell ourselves that we will remember to live in the present, and we do for a while. But many of us start to revert back to our old ways, and we aren’t happy. You may begin to worry about the future and the past all over again. And in a snap, our old life creeps back in. But it doesn’t have to be this way.
The key is to ride the wave of grief, over and up again. Not only will you learn about yourself and life, you’ll experience what you are truly meant to experience.